Portland’s children don’t love dressing like pioneer youth

“I’m three,” said Addison, “I like glowing screens, rubbing pudding on my face and bright, bright, BRIGHT–please put that last one in caps–colors. Look at me. To describe this shirt as ‘beige’ would be hyperbolic–there isn’t nearly that much color in it.”

Addison, of SE Belmont, is one of many Portland children complaining of the drab fashions selected for them by their parents.

“Look at these shoes,” said Jayden, 4, of Foster Powell–but definitely the fastest-gentrifying part. “Some of my classmates’ shoes have like Ninja Turtles on them and stuff. I believe these were literally worn on the Oregon Trail.”

Dressed in a dark grey dress, Huntley, 5, of Alberta Street, has gotten proactive.

“I’m a little girl. Not a fashion accessory. I pour juice on everything she puts on me, and play it off as an accident, until I get to wear my Elsa nightgown. My mother is so preoccupied shopping online for non-corrective glasses for me, she doesn’t even notice it’s all a scheme.”

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