“Who is the modern Mary Magdelene, in terms of American sentiment, if not Saudi Arabia?” Sclorps said. “They’ve been outcasts ever since they did 9/11. And Trump vetoed congress to sell them millions of dollars in arms, just as Jesus chose to walk with the pariah Mary Magdalene.”
"Our country will be in safe hands with the leaders Trump DeVos Academy produces. But, to be certain, these safe hands are not and will never be larger than President Trump's hands, whose hands are the largest," a spokesman said in the briefing.
When an “Ant-Man” branded caulking gun entered retail spaces such as Home Depot and Lowe’s last week, Disney themed merchandise officially crossed the 75 percent mark of all commercial products being sold and highlights the firm’s goals of pervasiveness.
Here is that beer list you've been looking for.
"These bike lanes will be another marker in Portland's aggressive path to be the greenest city in the U.S.," said Portland City Commissioner Sarah Skleeb over the phone from her car, after apologizing for missing the interview appointment on account of traffic.
To the surprise of no one that's ever seen a movie, Patriot Prayer and Rose City ANTIFA's passionate obsession for each other will soon turn from violence to lusty open-mouth kissing, according to anonymous sources and police officer texts. "It's the slap-slap-kiss trope playing out, and everyone has always known it," said Lewis & Clark … Continue reading Patriot Prayer, ANTIFA to begin making out passionately
"You know what doesn't go with green? Nearly 50 years of iconic black and red."
According to exclusive Portland Bugle sources with specific information, LeBron James' impending decision about which team to sign with this offseason has already been made. It is a decision Blazers fans will be thrilled with. In brief: LeBron likes terrible municipal art, 7-Eleven Free Willy is a cinematic masterpiece Californians didn't pay well above asking … Continue reading Bugle Exclusive: Sources say LeBron to Portland a Near Certainty
"I have had an itchy face for seven straight years," said Lester Mellimack. "Just as soon as beards dip to 80 percent, I feel like the balance of looking like a beardless freak or having an itchy face all the time will have tipped far enough for me to shave."